Sunday, November 23, 2008

If I had a good tune to sing...=)

Not much concrete stuff…just a couple (or maybe not just a couple) of poetry lines if anyone feels like a read…=)


I feel misunderstood; secretly judged… somehow like
Nobody’s totally for me or against me…
Like everyone’s a friend in your presence
But then changes when you’re away…

Like there’s no time to turn to anyone
Else but You God…
Yet people are free
To turn to me, whatever time it may be. (N.B. dnt comment about that =P I was in a bad mood xD)

I feel looked down on; unimportant
Perhaps I’m laughed at…or the butt of many jokes…
Yet maybe, just maybe I might make a difference…
To one person’s life… like some people to me.

I need to learn to love constantly,
And not to bother so much about first impressions
Or keeping up the high standard.

Why is it we care about people’s thoughts
But we never think anyone cares enough
About what we think and feel?
What is it we care for? The comments; compliments?

So what’s the worst that can possibly happen?
Nobody likes me; loves me; needs me; wants me…
And I’ll be left alone with You…
I know You’re all I need;
I know You gave me what I need…
Even if that means I needed friends. =)


Would my world be that desperate without them?
Could I run away to my own world
Of thoughts, dreams, poetry and prayers?
With You? will You be my inspiration?
My expression and purpose? Do I believe…
That You are enough to be my world?

I’m trying to find the balance
Of juggling You and the world…
I hope You’ll remain first
But I know that I shouldn’t totally disassociate
Myself from the world.

I’m not in the world
For love and entertainment.
I’m here to give to it…to be the help…
To break pre-conditioned ideas…
And perhaps to prove who I really am…
Or will someone be bothered enough to find out for himself?

Will anyone ever care that much?
I know You do…is it enough?
You gave me people for a reason…
I need love and attention…
I’m created that way!

Was I raised thinking I should cope alone?
Cope just giving?
All I did was receive from You…
So all I can do is give away all I’ve gotten so far!
You keep me alive…You keep my heart soft.


Look what You’ve saved me from…
Look at what You’ve planned for me to do:

To be the broken example of a person being healed;
To be the hurt human here, proving that comfort can be felt;
To be the lost one, that found what she searched for!

The insecurities I’ll cast onto the life-saving cross..
The thoughts and fears, selfishness and bitterness
That has kept me back…I will be rid of!

I’m not living to prove a point…
I’m living to love You with my life…
May my point be proven in how I do this.
My goal…to serve You…not to stand out
As the different one just to be noticed.

When life gets too loud You can’t block it out.
If you have nothing stronger to cling to…
You’ll drift towards a sad ending you can’t foresee.

I was once a dependant young child…
But for some reason… now I prefer to try alone.


You’re probably all tired of reading but before I post my last song I’m gonna write some verses that help with getting through =)

"Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds
Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” James 1:2

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” 1:12

“…our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simple-hearted;
When I was in great need, he saved me.” Ps.116: 5-6


So you should all be impressed at my brief-ness xD coz it’s so unlike me… but last thing before I leave you to make something out of my confusion and thoughts…a.k.a. poetry xD…
Out of all those lines…and the poems I posted last time… a song has evolved…enjoy =)

Verse 1:
Constant dripping on a rainy day
Trying to restrain the wind
Or grasp oil with the hand.

Empty words; I’ve heard of this truth
They sang about it in the psalms
Today in the heavenly realms.

Pre-chorus:
I’m worn out, like a torn old dress
Them I will soon cease to impress

Chorus:
Coz I’m the broken example of a person being healed;
The hurt human here, proving that comfort can be felt;
The lost one, that found what she was searching for.
Now all my insecurities I’ll cast onto
The life-saving cross.


Verse 2:

Clouds and wind come without rain
They say they’ll try and stop my pain…
But they do nothing at all.

Passing crowds; You’ve singled me out
Chosen me to serve and love
Yearned to have me as Your own.

Pre-chorus:
But I’m worn out, like a torn old dress
Them I will soon cease to impress

Chorus:
Coz I’m the broken example of a person being healed;
The hurt human here, proving that comfort can be felt;
The lost one, that found what she was searching for.
Now all my insecurities I’ll cast onto
The life-saving cross.




Iiiii if anyone’s still following…I wrote this in the library the other day xD (It’s a prayer for anyone who was thinking otherwise):

If I could write a song to You
It would probably have the most overused phrases
Sung over and over again, yet perhaps in
The most sincere way you can ever know.

I’d like to tell You that I love You
For who You are and not who I’ve made You to be.
I’d pray You’d take my all
Accept my life a sacrifice of love, as worship to You.

If I had a good tune to sing
It would be the best of any other that I can bring.
Bottled up; expressions reach the surface,
Exploding into a love song I’ve longed to write

You gave me my all and now I’m giving it back…how many times have You heard those words? Can I be real, like few others before me? Do You know I want to give all glory to You? Why can’t people be true? Why must this frustrate my inmost being?hurting me to my deepest core? I’ve known what it’s like to be trapped so maybe this could actually be compassion; a longing for others not to suffer things I have.
I’m letting all of the things I control…go! So…freely I can say that I love You
For who You are and not who I’ve made You to be.
I’d pray You’d take my all
Accept my life a sacrifice of love, as worship to You

Gn! Blessings to all =)
xxxx

6 comments:

R.T said...

I read that all... and I must say that it was much worth it..

Paul said...

The opening verse of your song is familiar had u shown it to me or written it elsewer? XD Your song reminds me of Saviour of 29th chapter and tim hughes, i can really imagine it sounding something like that hehe.

Bettina said...

hah yes paul which is why i said this song was made from loads of poems put together coz i took all those lines from diff poems which i had written and put them together xD

Rachie said...

I know You gave me what I need…
Even if that means I needed friends. =)

I find that absolutely hilarious, in the best way possible :D Our similarities never cease to amaze me o.0

P.S. the word verification sounds like a drug: menol

Amy said...

thanks for that xxx

debz said...

u have a lovely blog bett :) loved your song! xxxx