i wrote this a couple of days back..and thought i'd share..
It’s the now…
not the yesterday or the last year
It’s the now
God’s not bothered about what you were
Or who you were a couple of months back
He’s interested in the now
Whether the past was so much cleaner
Or so much worse you shouldn’t think about it…
It’s the now that matters…
Previous good deeds and prayers
Selfish acts and greedy behaviours..
They dissolve when God’s around and
The now is all that matters
And only you have control over the now
Maybe your past was affected by others..
But the now…
You can change it and make a difference..
Past acts wont save you or damn you
Where you’re standing now might…
insommaaa basically i think we're all lookin at life a bit differently since last saturdays meetin..and i mean dats rly great!..but im encouraging all of us to keep this fire lit..and not to let it die by d winds and currents of this world that will try pull us down and keep us away from God..so yesterday was quite a hard day emotionally.. like i had abda arguments with my family all morning and i ended up crying at lunch..(N.B. i havent cried infront of my family since like forever)..but im glad i did..i dnt want neone thinking im macho anymore u knw?..im gna be really real!..nd although i dnt let neone knw why i was crying..it felt good being real...
insomma den i ended up bitter all afternoon..remembering past events dat hurt me and scarred my life...words and feelings returned to me and i was a ball of emotions..i prayed b4 i went to y4j but still i knew dat dat evening during praise i had to give evrything to God and like hav a healing/crying session xD...and insomma as others hav said maria vadia was amasing nd did actually bring Gods excitement back to us all i wud say!..
basically at a time she mentioned dat ppls with digestive problems wer gan be healed..nd i had to raise my hand..nd basically she prayed on me..nd like first she was saying like "jesus come..blablabla"..and in my brain i was like doubtin u knw how?.. but den i decided i hav to belive...so i started saying jesus i believe ur gna heal me thank you thank you thank you...and as soon as i thought dat she like said "thank you jesus"..and moved to d next person..nd i was like wow..nd i burst out crying..nd like enjoyed God's presence u knw?..
nd deeen she asked if neone was betty..nd like der wer 3 bettys and bascially she started praying on one of us bettys haha..nd like i tot ah ok she was talking about her..but wat she prayed rly struck me...
"God is pleased with you my good and faithful servant.."..
and not to sound big headed like..but i rly felt god saying it to me at dat moment...*not only coz im also betty xD*..but hekk i just...knew God was addressing me at that time..*hard feelin to describe
but neway =P
*Paul go away xD =P haha*
so as i cried..all these thoughts and feelings wer coming to me u knw?..all my hurts wer leaving and i knew it..and God was pleased with my work and was giving me the strength to keep living for him!..and also..xD..haha big news.. : I'M SHITTING!!
hahahaha i had to say that coz i truly believe im healed and my digestive system is back to normal..(haha i shat 2 times ta today!! i used to shit like once a week haha..so yup God healed my weird sickness i tink..i knw acutally)
insomma den after d meeting i walked down to bs with the polish ppls dat visited..nd i spent all the walk talking to gabriella..nd i realised we're rly lucky to hav eachother and like y4j..and i mean such a peaceful country wit friends all around us!..*shout out to gabriella and micheal whom we are all enjoying driving mad with our loud malteseness xD*
so newaaaay lol den i came home dat night all happy and on the clouds..(and this post is rly long but wat d hell its summer u shud all hav time to read it xD) and i couldnt sleep haha so i got my phone and typed this out://
i havent felt so full of peace
and yet so hurt and let down in one day
like this before
the morning was full of tears..bitterness, hurts, wounds left unseen to...
and it was as if you wer the only one
keeping me up..
but self pity sat comfortably in my heart
and althought i knew you were with me
i hurt too bad to forget and forgive..
but this evening you gave me the grace and strength
to be at peace once more
you totally took over and filled me up
i cried and overflowed
somehow i knew it was your healing touch
that was changing me
spiritually and physically...
is it enough?..xD
I Love You God!! xD
haha dats d end for now! xD..blessings and luv to all..haha how nice i got this allllll off my chest! xD wihtout interruptions from family haha *but with interruptions from achie and paul and drea haha but i luv dem neway =P* haha
*on seoncd thoughts der all evil!!!!*